The Gods that swallow us whole
by sindijow
Summary: A futuristic AU where its 2845. Walls measure thousands of feet tall and Titans touch the clouds. Humans, furthermore, use Body suits instead of 3DMG. In a world similar to this one, Eren desperately, fervently needs Annie. Surprisingly, she does too. AnniexErenxMikasa
1. Prologue

**The gods that swallow us whole**

Prologue:

To humans, the walls had no meaning. Perhaps they had, ages ago, numerous centuries ago, thousands, thousands of years ago.

Rumor says they stood intact to this day, in order to complete one purpose, to protect humans from some grotesque danger that's looming outside. Now, a couple of thousands of years later, the walls held a purpose completely opposing that of its early times. Instead of keeping the danger out, they were keeping people _in._

They lived pleasantly, bathing in luxury within those walls.

Word also got around, those walls have been breached, broken, pulled up and built anew right from the wreckage of war.

And now they stood, beyond reach, beyond destruction, beyond the spoiling hand of living beings, coated with hard metal, rising upwards, the walls of humans measuring full 4 thousand feet of height. Those who lost faith in superior forces, in spiritual beings, they worshipped the walls.

And humans, they built cities inside the walls. They made buildings of glass, standing tall and powerful, speaking legions of glory, yet never competing with that of the walls. Humans rode rolling vehicles, flying jets soaring the skies, but they never dared fly out of their territory, beyond the walls. They feared the unknown and they rejoiced in what they had.

The day the walls fell, humans received a grim reminder, a morbid insight on what lay out there. The day those humanoid creatures, reaching thousands of feet up high, peaking above the walls themselves, humans understood why they've lost faith in the gods.

Because the gods walked the earths and turned everything to rubble.

Because the gods had no mercy.

Because the gods swallowed us whole.

That was the day Eren found himself homeless, motherless.

He no longer had anything, save Annie.


	2. Chapter 1

**The gods that swallow us whole**

Chapter 1: to have nothing

He held three mementoes.

His scarf. Technically his mother's scarf. His only reminder of her. When those monsters breached the wall, he was at school. When Shiganshina began falling, he sped his pace to reach his mother, hoping to save her. All he found was her crimson scarf, stained with blood. He's detached it from the rubble.

His father was his second memento.

His father was an advancing dark form, never relenting. It was hard enough for the seven year old to keep him in sight and it was even harder to follow him, getting squeezed between crowding bodies in the city center and giving high pitched shouts to gather his father's attention. The man never turned.

Finally! The infant gave a squeal of delight when the crowd spat him in the single non-occupied area of the entire city. A hovercraft was parked sideways, a suited dark skinned man stood formally by the side. He caught his father to the very edge, speaking fervently to a military clothed blond man. The child's smile widened as he walked toward his parent. The suited man grabbed him by the arm.

"Let go!" He gave a gasp as the man tightened his grip. "Let go, I have to talk to my father!"

The man gave him no heed. In fact, he reached to the boy's left hand, where he held the precious red muffler like his life depended on it.

"He's my dad, would you let me go? Please." He pleaded, the bodyguard's features turned suspicious.

It was the blond soldier whom his father was talking to, he was the one who enquired.

"Grisha, you never told me you had a child."

"I don't have any, Lieutenant Ackerman. I don't know the kid."

Well, that was exactly when Eren fell silent.

He looked at his father. His gray eyes, his tanned features, his dark hair which matched his very own, they may not look alike, father and child, but his Mama has always believed he would grow to resemble his father.

He had always waited impatiently for that.

Now, he wasn't sure he wanted to be like his father. Apparently the man had just denied any connection he had with him, which pretty much means he abandoned him.

Eren was seven, seven sweet years of childhood has passed, seven monstrous hours caused him to age far faster than anyone would've anticipated.

Eren backed away.

There goes his second memento.

He looked around, inside the hovercraft; a girl sat emanating a sweet gentle aura. Her father's daughter had an oriental sheen and a hair that sort of caressed her shoulder when she turned. She eyed him curiously, through the glass pane, and her gaze reflected the light of the underground city, their new refuge after the fall of their home.

He felt like crying.

But he wouldn't. He clenched his fists and ran into the crowd yet again. He felt peaceful as it carried him with no will of his own. It was only when _her _hand caught his, dragged him into an empty allyway, into the shadow of a strangely lit compound with colorful electric writing reading "INN", that he saw her, her blond bangs and her dry lips. She was seven as he was and weary as well.

His fists unclenched, feeling empty and hollow.

_Empty?_

He looked down, searching for the red scarf, it had disappeared.

Where had he discarded it? In the midst of the crowd or before the hovercraft?

There goes his first memento

He dove in between people again, but she caught at him, spinning him with incredible force and throwing him to the ground.

It hurt, not as much as his loss did.

"My scarf.." he murmured.

"It's gone." She declared apathetically.

Silence.

"I'll kill them." He gritted his teeth, his voice sounding too young, too childish to be intimidating. "I'll make 'em pay for what they did to Mama, I'll kill every last one of them."

"Big talk for nothing." She sat beside him, on the metallic floor of the underground city "If you want vengeance you'll have to work hard." She pushed her bangs out of her eyes "We're just weak human beings."

There she was, Annie, his last memento, his third and last remaining memento, His only memento.


	3. Chapter 2

**The Gods that swallow us whole**

Chapter 2: Deprived of sunlight

When the boy shook them awake, they'd been in deep slumber. They discovered that they hadn't left that spot behind the 'INN' and the intruder was eyeing them with confusion.

"My dad owns the compound." He said "I'll slip you in if you want. There're a lot of refugees in the city and the Inn is making buckets of money out of your lot. I'm sure my dad won't mind."

Eren who had told Annie about his father's abandoning him and as following her as well, knew she was more likely to agree.

"No." Sometimes, her pride won over.

"No." He couldn't argue with her. They only had each other and a quarrel would mean they were on a bad start. He didn't want complications when his goal was already shaping itself in his mind.

With persistence on his part and reluctance on theirs, they ended up sleeping on comfortable beds in the children's common room. Berik the boy of ten who slipped them in, Berthold his brother junior of one year who had not said much and that chatterbox of Reiner, aging an 8 and babbling on and on about how great it was that they came from above. He told tales of his imagining about their previous home and soon it had been Berik and even the obviously shy Berthold who joined in.

"I heard, and saw in the TV montages, that the walls are thousand feet tall."

"We actually have a live Hologram of the 3 walls, not as big as the real ones though."

"I heard you guys use hovercrafts instead of cars."

"We have those too dumbass."

A shuckle, then silence.

"We had those things, yes. But we never got out of the walls." Eren said "I guess I know why now."

"Was it because of the titans?" Reiner asked, curious.

"Sure, yeah."

They didn't press the subject any further. Eren noticed that Annie hadn't spoken since they were assigned their separate beds. He wondered if she was already asleep.

"Must be great eh? Living under sunlight?" Berik questioned, sounding dreamy. Shame swelled in Eren's chest. He was fantasizing about what lay beyond the walls but he never knew about these three's whereabouts.

Then again, he knew no one would blame him for being slightly inconsiderate. He just lost his mom and..

"Yeah, um, you've never been out before?"

"Never." Berik answered "Man, must it be great to live up there."

"Tell you what..."

The three boys turned towards him.

"I heard someone talk about military applications and the like. Say we enlist in the army, learn how to fight, get stronger then we'll all get allowed outside. You guys will see what it's like above ground and Annie and I'll see what's beyond the wall." He just wanted to stick Annie in with him in case she settled on leaving this group by morning. He watched as their eyes widened.

"Promise?" To his surprise it was Berthold who took the initiative.

"Promise." He confirmed. The others repeated with him in a collective chorus "Promise!"

_Then it's settled._

* * *

11 years later

She felt distant, even though she stood right beside him. They've been together for 11 years, but he still had the vaguest impression that he doesn't fully know her. He ought to, he knew. After all, shouldn't they, an inseparable pair of warriors, a dynamic duo, quite knowledgeable of each other's' weaknesses, each other's capabilities in battles, shouldn't they know each other entirely in real life.

_Life is not all about fighting you know._

If she could read his mind, she would_

He didn't know how she'd react. She, Annie Leonheart, ruthless and cold, would most definitely not flip her shit upon hearing Eren Jaeger's confession about life not being devoted completely to fighting. For all she knew, for the past 6 years, since he'd been allowed to enlist in the newly formed military divisions, he was focused on one goal only. Kill the monsters they called 'Titans'.

But her quietude worried him. She stood right beside him, her petite form indistinguishable inside the female figured armor suit, her eyes hidden beneath the thick dark pane of her headset.

"340 meter class, to your right." Her apathetic voice echoed into his head. He smirked, though he knew she couldn't see it. He activated the hovering function of his jetpack connected to the armor, rising above ground and heading towards the maze of massively sized, incredibly ruined buildings. His flight had limited timing, 60 minutes at total, so he knew he needed to economize as much as he could of his energy since it was all he possessed during this mission. He longed to discard that fact though since flying felt amazing.

He saw Annie, running in the rumble covered streets. The red vision of his headset zoomed in on a 340 meter class with a swollen belly, clutching at the side of the old justice compound of this district. He gradually lowered his hovering speed and activated the magnetic field monitored mainly in both his palms and his feet, giving him a chance to grapple onto said buiding and speed climb it. _His first kill!_ He thought, shifting the entirety of his magnetic force into his feet, skillfully maintaining his balance and running the length of the remaining floors in one vertical line. As he approached the top, he back flipped, providing himself with perfect momentum to send a burst of hovering energy into his pack. He flew straight towards the titan's neck and willing his twin blades to roll out the suit's packaged forearms, he spun and dug a deep cut, sending the creature sprawling to the ground. He caught a glimpse of the overall shape of their location, sending the vibrations of his sound to Annie.

"You here?"

"Hmm?"

"Annie there's a 700 meter class, between the Manstron international hotel and Helton."

"I don't see it."

"The tallest buildings in the city are obscuring it, Annie. Oh fuck.."

"What?"

"He's fast. That son of bitch is fast and big as fuck. I bet his smallest toe can crush me to pieces."

"He shouldn't be fast Eren. He's 700 meters tall."

"I know that!"

Eren activated his flying pack again, flying and dodging buildings in his way at maximum speed. He saw Annie, standing before the corpse of a supposedly 500 meter class. There were more in the area, the smaller ones, 50 meter classes and 100, he paid them no heed hoever. He felt her flying by his side.

"We should probably_"

"Eren, no."

"_kill the fucker."

"tch.. What about the smaller ones?"

"We'll get rid of 'em later, big one first."

"I hate you."

But she would be there with him. Perhaps she wasn't as distant as he'd thought. He caught her magnetically grappling onto the city clock, he matched her motions. They've been fighting together for so long, that they were familiar with each other's thoughts and moves and even intentions before they occurred. To him, Annie always left him be. He could get into as much shit as he wanted and she wouldn't mind him. Keeping that in mind, he dove for the kill, feeling his right shoulder obscurely numb as his swords appeared. He spun, Annie lashed, he dug and she reinforced the kill, for a moment he wondered why the thing despite it being massive, didn't splatter them to pieces with his gigantic hand.

He kept also wondering. 600 meters were common, 700 were rare. The one titan that destroyed the wall 11 years ago was 960 meter class and it was never sighted since. They had enough reason to believe that the big titans were not going for the assault. Despite their size, they were inexplicably light, which if you discarded the fact that they were unintelligent, made them all the more cunning and a bigger threat.

Also, the numbing in his arm was spreading. He grappled for a building, seeking balance and watched the 700 meter class fall.

_That was a surprisingly easy kill._

And then it dawned on him. None of the 12 fuckers he's killed for the past hour were intimidating. They were massive, yeah, but they never took notice of him and he always managed to kill them with one hit, which was weird.

But he saw what slipped him midway through the assault. There were smaller titans than he'd originally anticipated; they were running randomly in all directions, ambushing them. In his focus on the massive titan, it completely slipped his mind that the smaller ones might be the threat.

Then again, how did he come here in the first place?

_Where was here?_

He racked his brain for an answer, and after a while it hurt to think anything over. He recalled however entering a cocoon-like compartment, thin tubes penetrating his arms and Neon blue colored liquid spilling in. He had the vaguest clue about it.

_Simulation._

Annie was lashing at a 590 meter class in the corner; he spoke up in the headset.

"Annie."

"I'm busy."

"Annie, it doesn't matter. It's not real, none of this is real."

"What?"

"It's a simulation. Frankly, we're either too skilled or these titans are jokes. I'm going for the latter 'cuz it's just _too easy. _Also, look. The smaller titans are trapping us in a circle"

"Eren I swear to fuck_"

She turned (probably to make her threat count) and stilled. He was pointing at a 150 meter class towards him, concentrating hard enough until the titan exploded in a shower of pixels. Around them, the world of the simulation was crumbling and they found themselves being carried in a rollercoaster to reality.

There was one detail he's completely forgotten about. That's okay since those who designed the system never expected the people on whose brains the simulation was running to figure out said trick. There was one thought repeating itself in his mind as he regained consciousness.

_The simulation is my final military exam._

_I fucked up my final military exam._

_Which means Annie's fucked it up too._


	4. Chapter 3

**The Gods that swallow us whole**

Chapter 3: When Dot Pixis watches you

The compartment spat him to the ground. Eren coughed the simulation liquid out of his mouth, seeing that he was damp all over with perspiration and the blue liquid oozing out of his skin. His body was already rejecting whatever the fuck they injected him with, his right shoulder was throbbing, a soothing rhythm matching that of his heart. Once the rush of adrenaline was over he felt the sharp pain emanating from the thick wrappings on his arm. He took a deep breath and tried to remember.

_My name's Eren Jaeger. I'm 18 years old, my home's compound 901 in the 10__th__ level of the underground. I live with Berik and the other assholes and Annie. We've enlisted in the military 6 years ago and we were accepted. Today's our final test, simulation on duo capacities. I fucked it up, Annie fucked it up. I'm doomed._

That was it. What an interesting life he had. Better rejoice in it immediately since his hours to live are becoming countable. He lay on the ground, took a deep breath and rose.

The room was infinite and dark. He stood before a cocoon-like shape, medium height and width, within which he saw the metal chair and the tubes. The room had a limitless number of cocoons like his own, except they were shut tight. He wanted to meet the architect who designed this silly invention and congratulate them.

The machine beside him opened for yet another ejection. Annie was kneeling on the ground, still, but in a similar mess.

"I will strangle you."

"Easy now, can we negotiate?"

She stood. He topped her with three heads and was twice her weight but still, she was fucking intimidating. She didn't move but he pointed at his arm.

"This is how I found out about the glitch in the system." He whispered.

"I don't care how you found the glitch that ruined our exam."

"No Annie for real." He massaged his ruptured organ. "I fell during the jet pack flying test, remember? Back then, they installed a gigantic titan puppet and since we all rushed in to 'kill' it, we couldn't see the smaller cyborg titans. That's how I got my injury."

She lifted an eyebrow.

"We all can say you don't have great vision."

"Annie." He hissed "It's the same trick in the simulation. My brain's caught the hint and my arm started vibrating and that's when I knew something's wrong."

She looked bored, but he didn't really care. She _always _looked bored.

"It doesn't matter if we fucked up." They were both clad in the elastic fabric covering all their bodies, it's their official uniform once they're handed their body suits. It was supposedly designed as the most comfortable thing in the world but it usually made Eren itchy. Usually the marvelous sensation of his flight would rule it out, but now he felt exceptionally fidgety.

"Why does it not matter, genius?" She asked sarcastically, monitoring her way through the rows of simulation machines.

"Because the glitch will spread like wildfire, soon all these" He gestured around him, "will be ejected out of their simulations like we were and the exam will have to be rescheduled."

"What if it's not a virus asshole, what if it's _you _who woke up within the simulation and destroyed it."

_She had a point._ Usually, this system only functions on sleeping brains, the fact that he figured out what they were living for an hour was not _real_ probed him to regain consciousness.

_It still doesn't make any sense._

"We've failed. Time to kiss our ranks goodbye, that is if they don't kick us out of the army." Annie grumbled.

Eren fell silent. Usually, the higher-ups would punish you with extra laps or push-ups if you slack off, but this is serious business. They don't like to be shown as fools, but since they're watching the simulations live and thus hearing interactions between each duo, that meant that his revelation had been broadcasted out by now. If was not a normal thing, if you marvel at it. Their program was so perfect that no one who ever got injected with the serums woke midway into the experience. There was a first to everything after all, hadn't his father said "There's always a crack in the system."

He just found one, but the consequences were not known, after all it _was _a first.

"They won't." He declared confidently. Everyone knew him as extremely arrogant and brash, but they knew there were very little things in his life he could thrust blindly. He trusted his actions. _BIG mistake_, in Annie's opinion.

They were getting lost within that maze when a bald headed mustached man appeared before a couple of agape cocoons. _Theirs, _so they were going in a blind circle after all.

"Annie Leonheart and Eren Jaeger."

It wasn't a question but an acknowledgment. They followed the man (whom Eren recognized as the infamous Dot Pixis), reaching a set of giant doors, going past and into corridors where floors were glass paned and transparent, giving way to a continuation of tubes with the same Neon liquid running in, their main source of energy, after they were stripped of their sunlight. They reached an empty meeting room where the elderly soldier faced them both.

"You two have a cunning sense of partnership."

Eren's mouth fell agape; even Annie was surprised, her brows crooked in a thoughtful frown. They were expecting to get dissed at not complimented.

"Thank you sir.."

"I'm serious." He declared "The testers absolutely loved your work; you two have had our biggest titans programmed in hand slaughtered neat and easy, as easy as killing bugs.

"Not only that, but you two also excelled in strategy making, we've been expecting good news from the lot of you, we heard."

By _heard,_ he probably meant what their instructors said about them. Good, but not fantastic and their performances were not spectacular. But as a team, they nailed these missions like child play. Annie had a natural talent in hand-to-hand combat. Her fighting techniques varied from range to range. She was actually petite and quite slight in weight which gave her the upper hand in defense, since she was perfectly capable of dodging any hits and flipping any opponent no matter his weight over her shoulder (not that he experienced it head-on). Her figure also helped her in Jetpack flights, magnitude maneuvers since she usually possessed the perfect momentum to spin or to dodge or to make a sharp cut.

Eren backed her experience with strength she lacked. He had full figure and could pack a punch that would puncture through a wall. Under Annie's watch he excelled in hand-to-hand combat, though never managing to completely beat her with her own techniques, he managed to flip her around by tricking her numerous times. They both knew each other well and were familiar with each other's bodies; they both had their talents and their weaknesses and were both at their most vulnerable when against each other.

In short, they've both given each other numerous bruises.

But that was it. They fit like an completed puzzle and their instructors insisted they train together; it was no wonder that during their first simulation three years ago, they landed first in duo performance.

Pixis snapped him out of his line of thought, patting Eren on the shoulder, the _punctured _shoulder.

"Good job my boy."

"Me? What'd I do?"

"You figured the titans' trick in the simulation. It's currently running in the other duos too and you're the first who figured it out."

Silence, Pixis gave them his greetings. "I was assigned to watch you while you were in there you know, so I'm familiar with your case, you know at the end of the week you'll receive your badges and your graduation forms, you two choose between the three divisions. Better yet, choose together, you work extremely well in pair, better not waste that talent." He turned on his heel "And Eren.. hope that arm o' yours' fine."

And he went about his way. Eren looked at Annie, she looked back.

"You can say it now." She murmured.

"He sounds full of shit."

They weren't distant. Perhaps they knew each other a tad too well.


	5. Chapter 4

**The Gods that swallow us whole**

Chapter 4: Excellence

Each section of the walls had a replica in the underground. When the entirety of wall Maria fell under the giants attack, most of the citizens were evacuated to the underground cities, the residents of the districts or those who occupied the wilderness of Wall Maria alike. The government in Sina was ready to undertake the same strategy should Wall Rose fall next, though it had its slight inconveniences since the underground was already pretty occupied.

So they were deprived of their sunlight, and of fresh air. 11 years after the fall, the cities were crowded more than ever.

But the approach of graduation promised their departure above ground, and as following beyond the walls. To Eren, his choice between the three divisions was already made. To join the military police meant to get stuck in the underground playing cop, if you were skilled enough at kicking civilians around, you would get the chance to embark to Wall Sina, Where nothing happens, nothing but politics. Plus rookies tend to get assigned to the worst areas.

Before the fall, the military police was the most desirable profession. In fact there were only two divisions, the second being the Garrison where they tend to the walls. They were handed the body suits to hover above natural levels and coat the armory substance the walls are made of, other than that, the body suit with their expensive weaponry and exceptional jetpacks were handed solely for air patrols and not much else. Since humans' domain included the skies within the walls, specialist designed a special sort of force field rising from the top of the wall and connecting in a half oval shape to prevent any sort of aerial activity that rises above the field's surface or seek flying above the wall and thus to the world beyond. Somehow, that was the monarchy's way of keeping them off of danger, but a notice about the monstrosity that lay outside would've been nice. Post the apocalypse a long dispatched division was brought back, the scouting legion, where you enlist to fight the monsters head-on. Now the top ten trainees in individual performances are favored to join the MP, whereas those who excel in dual test, they could be sent straight to the legion. That was a fact Eren benefitted in greatly.

God he was bored. If only he could rush out and receive their test result on advance. It was already curfew though, and their beds had metal carcasses connected to the ground. They were automatically programmed to signal whether its occupant were there by curfew, once the morning bell in the main compound and following in all the quarters rang, the metallic carcasses of their bunks would simply get swallowed into the ground leaving them laying on the unendurably cold floor, yet another brilliant technique to fight laziness amongst recruits. Ever since he hit twelve, Eren found that all his movements were monitored 24/7 by the army's superiors.

He lay motionless, his back against the wall. Annie was sitting two beds away, reading in a hologram screen, clad in nothing but an undershirt and panties.

It was 9:30 pm, fifteen minutes past curfew and the rest of the freak show did not show up, Berik, Berthold and Reiner. Normally, he wouldn't care where they were since he wasn't naturally caring, despite them being his friends and whatnot, but upon 5 minutes of absence the sensors attached to their beds would usually start beeping. Everything was currently silent.

Plus he really really needed their assistance.

"They're late." He wondered aloud, she didn't budge.

Then they came.

"Annieeee." Reiner gave his usual flamboyant greeting, offered Eren a bro hug which he balantly rejected because _couldn't they see it? He was glued to his cot._

He wasn't exactly glued; he just didn't get up of fear from the sensor's annoying beeping. It was nearly twenty minutes past curfew goddammit.

"Hey, loosen up." Berik gestured for him to scoot and sat beside Eren, offering him a cheeky grin. Amongst the four of them, beside Annie, Berik was the closest to him, which means even if they weren't the ideal partners in dual performances, they still possessed some kind closeness, incomparable to that which he had with Annie but still.

"You guys missed the show." Reiner declared, face flushed.

"It's late," Annie said with her characteristic bored tone "Is the compound out of energy? Because it's past curfew and your beds aren't shrieking…"

"..yet. They pushed the timing limit to 11PM, some guys took ages to pass the simulation's test. Speaking of which, how'd you do? Don't tell us because we already know." It was Berthold who blurt out. He had a habit of remaining silent for long hours than blurting words all at once. It was creepy.

"What he means is that they're announcing the test results right now."

"What?" Eren questioned.

"Don't get up. We've see yours already, save yourselves the trouble." Berik smiled again "Guess who landed first?"

Silence.

"You guys! Isn't that awesome?"

"We knew you'd rock it, not to that extent though."

"There're 1000 other recruits, which makes 500 pairs are you sure we landed first?" Annie enquired, ever serious.

"It's kind of a tie actually." Bertl murmured "Another pair fell first."

"Who?" Annie glared menacingly. Frankly, getting a decent grade in the final test meant a huge deal to him because joining the Scouting Legion was his dream, he wasn't sure about Annie but he never pegged her as truly enthusiastic for the whole ordeal. Upon the legion's formation many from the Capital started complaining about it being a total waste of human lives, going out the walls, that is. He speculated that Annie thought the same.

"Mikasa Ackerman, you know her right?" Berik jabbed Eren lightly in the ribs "She's Corporal Levi's little sister."

"She's also partnering with the Arlert boy, umm, Armin?"

"That's it Bertl." Assured Berik "They want you to head straight to the meeting station first thing in the morning. It's customary for the top 1 duo to meet with their superiors and discuss their simulations, which means that there'll be a couple of duos this time around. This is huge guys."

Eren lay down; crawled into the blankets and rolled away, facing the wall "You just lost me." He closed his eyes, pretending to fall asleep.

"Dude you can't sleep us off like that." Reiner's voice, complaining.

"Forget him," Annie, sounding sure "he'll pretend he doesn't care all he wants. What else's to it?"

When Grisha Jaeger denied his connection with him, he felt their relation truly rupturing. Perhaps it had been the sole imagination of a seven year old who'd just seen horrors, but the pain he felt was real, beyond any of his fantasies.

Growing up, he cast new shades of light over their last encounter, his feelings varying from shame to loath. He used to respect the man, the way any child would hold respect and love for his father. There was more to it. It was beyond cruel, beyond acceptable to ditch your own kid after him just watching his mom die. His mom.

When he, seven years old and short of breath reached their building, where they lived in a fancy apartment in the 98th floor, instead of seeing their home he saw a humanoid creature looming over him. He looked kinda like the god he pictured in his mind, his mother being religious and the like, he always imagined the God being extremely tall and powerful, the creature standing before him representing these very features. When his only grandpa died of age when Eren was five, they told him 'He's with god now. God took him away; he's in a better place now.'

He literally saw the hand of God reach into rumble and grasp his mother.

Riding into those giant elevators that led them underground, he heard people whisper the name 'Titans' over and over. While that denied it being god that took his mother away, it didn't help much to restore his lost faith. He lost faith in more than one thing that day.

He swatted ugly memories away and after a strenuous struggle, he drifted off, dreaming of Mikasa Ackerman as he first and last saw her, in that hovercraft on the first level of the underground, where he first lost his faith in parenthood.


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**** Hah, you guys really are awesome, thank you for all the reviews and the favorites and the follows, really appreciated. We're back to school and my life officially sucks buuuut I'll try to update as fast as I can. Meanwhile you guys keep motivating me with your lovely feedback, 3 :)**

**Also, I do NOT own Shingeki no Kyojin characters or the concept either.**

* * *

**The Gods who swallow us whole**

Chapter 5: When the ghost watches 

Annie was… a _loner_.

When they started living with Berik and the others, the tiny bond they've built over years of their moms' visits was demolished. Eren's father was a doctor, Annie's was a soldier and he died when Annie turned 6.

Tragic, they said he was a great man, a great man who dragged his toddler daughter to the building's gym for an adult reserved training regime. They used to be neighbors living in the same floor. In the vague memories of childhood, Eren concluded that Annie's house was never silent.

After her husband passed away, Annie's mother began visiting Carla Jaeger, leaving a couple of infants to stare at each other in the most adult way possible. Later they started burbling together, going to the park together. He had another vague memory of baby Annie burying his face in the sand and nearly suffocating him when he broke her miniature of general Zackly, the supreme commander of all military. The doll was actually her father's so Annie was not lenient about him breaking its leg and decided to break his own as a payback.

Post fall, she stuck around; only because he was the closest thing she had to a friend. When his interactions with their new roommates became more often than ever, she began distancing herself from him that is until they joined the military at 12.

When he was 15 and hitting his puberty spurt, he kissed her, only to regret it later since her face had gone deathly pale. He wanted to apologize but she had run, disappeared like she always did. The next morning, she agreed to partner with him, only to give him a beating within 2 hours of their training together.

But their first simulation made them confident more than ever about their collective work and she, despite her lonesome trait, decided to drift back to him, and to their friendship.

Eren adjusted the cravat around his collar, annoyed. Why was it customary to wear tuxedoes to their graduation ceremony? Why couldn't they just put their armory suits on? It'd be a lot more legit.

And awesome.

He fixed his jacket and tried to wear his hair in a less ruffled way. Reiner came in, looking muscly and huge, not as huge as he looked in their usual black elastic uniforms though. He usually didn't care because he liked his crotch and his muscles exposed to people. Eren didn't.

"Oh honey," Reiner said in a mocking tone "you look _dashing!"_

"Gee, thanks mom."

"You should see Annie though, she's wearing a _dress."_

"Goodness." Eren sarcastically slapped a hand on his chest. Were Annie to see them she'd probably say_

"Faggots." _Speak of the devil. _Annie walked in, clad in a blue dress reaching halfway to her knees, her arms bare. It wasn't exactly a say in fashion, but compared to Annie's usual style, Eren was willing to put bets on how many people would probably ask her to a dance tonight.

Reiner who was half lying on the bed, crossed his legs "Eavesdropping is a nasty habit Annie Marie."

"It's Ann' Marie." Eren corrected, looking intently into Annie's reflection in the mirroring screen. She had that angry expression she wore whenever they mentioned her full name. Annie, was a combination between Ann' and Marie, and she loathed it.

They headed to the hovering station in the 6th level of the underground, which was the vastest training area in all 10 military levels. The graduation party was being held there. Today, 603 cadets were going to get promotions and swerve to any of the 3 divisions. He truly felt giddy.

30 minutes into the event and his giddiness was slowly dissipating. Annie and the others were standing in a corner where the fluorescent flickering lights weren't really cast on them. Their entire area looked dim. His safe haven at last.

"Annie?"

"Hmm?"

"You can go out there you know, grab a date."

"I don't want a date Berik."

"But Annieee," Reiner, whining..

"You can hang out with a couple of friends."

"_Girl_friends, and no, we're not going to play that role for you tonight." Confirmed Berik, stern as ever.

"Lovely." Annie murmured with the shadow of a smirk "I have four grown men as my own precious girl besties, enough gayness with Eren and Reiner earlier."

"What about Eren and Reiner?" Eren questioned, stifling back a laugh.

They fell silent after that, up until Bertl of all people pointed out.

"Is that Mikasa Ackerman?"

"Where?" Berik scanned the path to their location.

"They girl in the _little _black dress, dude, 12 o'clock." Reiner popped up, ready to make an impression.

"What's _she _doing here?" Annie asked, annoyed. The two have met before (that's a story for another time), it wasn't exactly pleasant.

"Dude," Reiner slapped Eren on the back "she's waving _at you."_

"Says who?"

Reiner grabbed Eren's shin and fixated his vision on the tall ebony haired girl before them.

"I see, her Reiner, let go of me."

"Do you know her?" Reiner hissed, Eren fell silent.

He would know her with no hint. Mikasa Ackerman was quite the celebrity within the army. She was assigned to the training compound in the higher levels of the underground, namely the 4th, that's where the nobles and Lieutenants' children train upon enlisting in the army. Nobodies like himself and his friends get assigned to the deeper and less luxurious compounds; theirs was in the 10th level, where electricity and Neon energy cut off at curfew. At nights it's so pitch black that Eren can't distinguish his fingers.

But he needn't know her social status to recognize her. She was a genius prodigy and the sweetheart of their superiors, landing first in all the tests she's given. Her father was an important Lieutenant who embarked 3 years ago to the Capital in the service of the Air forces. She was quite famous by the reputation of her brother who, upon the fall, was only 15 yet managed a superb spot in the military, 10 years later he was promoted to the position of Lance Corporal of the Scouting Legion, managing to land a spot in the first expedition ever to be held by the Legion and emerging with the biggest amount of kills within the army, he was a legend. Yeah, Eren definitely knew the girl, they repeat her name million times each day (_which is fucking annoying_). They were probably expecting her to land first in dual test simulation anyway, not that he cared about it being a tie. He knew that to join the SL he needed to land among the top ten with Annie, the first? He didn't think so.

It felt good, like he was personally digging his finger into the eyes of each instructor of theirs who showed personal preference in the Ackerman girl in advance.

She had been partnering with Armin Arlert. He knew little about him, though. He was a descendant of the Arlert family, whose head owned gold mines in the deepest levels of the underground city that's beneath wall Sina. Eren heard from Reiner that morning that this Arlert person was a supposed nerd.

"Of course I know her." Eren said, shrugging his nosy friends off "Who doesn't?"

He felt their gawking gazes fixed on his back as he walked towards her. She looked like last week, the first time he officially met her, feathery hair reaching halfway to her back, translucent skin, pretty deep gray eyes. He remembered her from the time he saw her as a child, 7 days ago when they met in the customary meeting with the testers to observe their performances during the simulation, he was surprised when she took notice of him.

"_Eren, right?"_

"_Hmm, yes."_

"_Mikasa." Handshake, firm, professional and somehow placid, he relents._

"_Your choice for graduation?" She inquires, seemingly curious._

"_Scouting Legion, you?"_

"_Same." She responds with a poker face, giving just the bare hint of a smile "Let's stick around at graduation, find out who gets chosen for the division first."_

"_Wait, I thought they'd enlist us based on our grades."_

"_Exactly," She doesn't restrain her smile "I assume you'll be in, it doesn't hurt to tag along at graduation party eh?"_

"_Asking me out like a lady." He laughs._

"_I'm choosing with Armin, you?"_

"_Um, I'm kind of butting Annie in with me, she, when they gave me the graduation forms I kind of signed hers."_

"_Huh, so you really are butting her in the Legion without her personal accord, I think you should tell her. Once part of a team you mustn't lie to your partner."_

She was right behind him, now. He could tell her. Instead he fled with the girl in the classic little black dress.

They were playing a tune that goes literally centuries ago (probably was kept in the archive), Mikasa Ackerman wore no accessories save a maroon muffler around her neck, which was strange because the atmosphere was properly heated. His hand stroked the scarf's linen edges.

"Pretty thing."

"My brother gave it to me. Token from my 7th birthday."

His mind went back, another time ,another scarf. He strained to push the memories away.

His hand playfully teased her hair instead.

"Even prettier."

"Don't push it." She said firmly, they were dancing in the midst of the crowd, quite unendurable but he didn't hear her complaining.

"Why the sudden invitation?" He audibly wondered "You barely knew me before the simulation's show."

"Let's say this is for the simulation."

He craned his head to the side, confused.

"Say, when all of us join the Legion, recruits are often divided in separate squads of 4, if you and Leonheart enlist and Armin and I would be there, what say you we join in a common squad?" Her question was almost innocent.

"Who'll be the leader?"

Her face caught in a thoughtful frown "Well at the beginning one of the four members will have to take charge of the other 3, but upon coming from the first expedition alive we'll be assigned to a professional higher up, someone who'd properly take charge, In this case my brother is more than willing."

He carefully pondered, turning her absent mindedly with the monotonous rhythm of the song in the background. Her face was expressionless and he didn't manage to decipher her true motivation. Whether she wanted them in her team for pure skill or was she urged by one of their tutors. He could almost hear it, the 1st ranking duos together in one squad, it'll be top notch.

"I'll think about it, I still haven't told Annie that I signed in her in the legion and with this… It'll be a lot to take in."

They danced a bit more. Chattered a bit more. She wasn't a chatterbox, and when she spoke she didn't exactly throw jokes here and there. She was poised and graceful and he felt the envious glares from strangers pointed at him whenever his hand lingered too long on her hip or her bare shoulder. She actually cracked a smile a couple of times, drank some champagne with him and even agreed to take a sip from the cheap beer Reiner liked carried around half of the time.

When the time of graduation came, he was already in his 10th glass and leering, he was midway into telling her about his past life in Shinganshina. She seemed interested, enough that he felt completely disappointed when she got called to the podium. He drowned in a glass of liquor (he didn't exactly know the brand because he was too intoxicated to care). 10 troops next and he took his way to the podium, struggling to keep from swaying. The man, a tall blond, commander of the legion whose name escaped him in his drunken state, handed him his forms, a badge with the division's symbol carved in it and an ID card to their private compound and to unlock his new suit. All those came later in Eren's mind because Annie got called in next, when she rose he waited to see her expectant face, instead he saw genuine surprise as if she hadn't expected to graduate at all.

When he saw Annie's neglected forms in their room 7 days ago, containing 3 sole lines and an area to mark before each, he thought she simply forgot to mark the third line, 3._the Scouting legion_. How something as important as graduation would escape her mind that he didn't know, that she purposely did neglect those papers in hopes of skipping graduation that he didn't think. How could she waste 6 years in hard training to merely skip the most important part?

He wanted to get in her head, but his was already foggy. He saw her expression though, murderous, acidic, red.

She was so strangling him after this.

After this, he found himself stumbling into the hallways with Mikasa Ackerman. She was somehow by his side and he found himself pulling her out of the Graduation party. The walls were glass paned and were giving way to the party inside. They walked until they reached dimness and he found his mouth creeping towards hers.

"I don't even know you." He murmured.

"You do, you're just drunk." She talked back, sarcastic.

She fell silent when he cupped her cheek with her free hand and approached. She was going to ditch him probably but whatever. He wasn't getting out without a goodnight's kiss, if not from Annie than from this intriguing, mysterious girl.

His lips parted, dry, hungry, he leaned forward wanting it, carving it, he saw that craving in her too and he felt satisfaction swell within him as he decided that he changed her mind and she wasn't going to plainly reject him.

He was about to close in the space between them when he saw blood.

A tiny stain in her already crimson scarf, a fading stain.

But he'd recognize it anywhere, because no matter how many timed you'd soak that fabric in soap it won't truly go away, it used to be a big stain, the shape of heart.

His mother had drawn it for him when she was lying under the rubble, before she gave him his first memento, her last act of love before her passing was when she struggled to keep her arm straight and to draw a distinguishable heart in the scarf she was giving her 7 year old son.

A heart with her blood.

He stopped midway into kissing her because he saw that Mikasa Ackerman was wearing his mother's scarf and the terrible realization dawned on him.

It felt like during the entire evening, as he danced and laughed and cursed and flirted and got drunk, he was doing it before his mom, what was left of his mom anyway, but still he felt as if she'd been watching all the while.

She must be very disappointed.

* * *

**I just have a feeling that is Mikasa hadn't met Eren she wouldn't cut her hair, also, she's all suited up like Iron man and her hair's inside the headset than why should she cut in the first place. Bets on where Mikasa got Eren's scarf because she definetly did not pick it up from the ground (sheesh it's like the biggest mystery ever, god don't blame me it's nearly 2 am where I live).**


End file.
